Reflections over 2011

Wow, where to even begin. 2011 held some pretty amazing blessings and lessons! Of course there were good and bad, ups and downs, moments full of joy and moments full of sorrow, but through it all I gained a deeper understanding of the love of my Daddy.

The beginning of the year I was fresh out of college, looking for a teaching job and waiting for what God would have planned for me. I stumbled upon a long-term sub job...or more it found me...and man did I learn a lot! I was the 4th teacher in a second grade North Tulsa classroom. (For those of you who don't know, North Tulsa is like teaching at an inner-city school) The first 2 weeks I came home every night, cried and was in bed sleeping by 8 pm. I was exhausted from trying to learn to each child's behavior and why they would act certain ways. I was exhausted but knew the end result of them feeling loved was worth it! Needless to say, once June came around, I felt great joy as this wonderful class had finally learned to respect each other and the rules. They learned to respect authority, if even only inside the school walls. They learned to love through differences and it was a great feeling to watch them grow. I was so proud of them!

Of course we can't forget the major snow storm that had Tulsa out for 2 weeks. During this time my roommates and I spent a lot of quality time together, Liz and I walked to Quick Trip with a sled to stock up on Dr Pepper and Diet Coke. :) We made many a memories but we were all glad when the roads were finally clear to resume our normal daily lives.

Through out all of this, I was also still processing the fact that my best friend was now in another country and I didn't like it. Yes I supported her, and still do. But I had a lot to work on with my heart. I had to let Jesus have my whole heart so He could be on the throne of my heart, nobody else. I didn't ever realize until this point that something good could become an idol unintentionally. But even good things that take our focus from Jesus are still idols.

Let's not forget the amazing church I was attending that was starting to become my family. In the spring I had made the leap to serve on our worship team. Every other week or so I get on stage and worship our Father in front of the church. This scared me at first, to me worship was a personal thing but I knew this was what God was prompting me to do so I was obedient. This may have been one of the best things I could have done. Leading worship has helped me realize even more it is not about me but about our Savior. Worship is humbling yourself before God and singing your heart out to Him for His goodness and grace. And even at times when I'm overwhelmed by His presence or moved to tears by His Spirit...I can't help it, I get lost in worship and forget I'm in front of the whole church. Basically, leading worship has brought me to a much deeper level with Jesus that I don't believe I could have gotten to on my own. I love Jesus!!! :)

Of course, the biggest lessons I may have learned, some of the biggest blessings I received happen while serving in Latvia. As stated many times before I learned more than I can process in one sitting. I learned how great and deep our Fathers' love for me is. I learned how simple it is and yet beyond measure. I learned how to serve others on their needs being met not my own. I learned how to receive a blessing even when it was hard to. I learned to trust God and let Him have all control! I learned to just let God have everything and He will give me the words, my actions, my next step..He will always lead I only need to listen for His voice and watch for His path!

Now as most of you know, 2012 is getting more and more exciting. I will be taking a trip back to Latvia in March and will be seeking God's will for my life. I feel in my heart to go but need to wait for His direction. After March 29...my life and my world is wide open. I do not know what 2012 will hold and honestly for the first time, I'm okay with that. I've learned to wait without worrying because my Daddy has all things under control. It is going to be okay but my Daddy is always with me!

I love all my family and all my friends. We may have our differences, we may have hard conversations or even get into a 'heated' discussion about things, but when it comes down to it, every person that I have ever had a conversation with, shared my heart with, shared my laughter, or shared my tears have all played a part in the lessons I've learned to this day! I can't thank God enough for the way He shows His love for me through every person, even when I don't understand the situation.

I'm buckled up. I'm holding onto my Daddy's hand, and I'm ready to go. 2012 is going to wild, it's going to be great. But most importantly it is going to be FULL OF JESUS! :)