I love my Daddy! :)

I just have to start with this.... I LOVE MY DADDY! :)

For those of you who know me, you know that I don't really have a "dad". Yes, I grew up with a "step-dad" and yes I have a "real" dad whose DNA runs through my body, but I don't have a dad here that gives me advice, teaches me how to take care of things around the house, lets me rest my head on his shoulder, or even just go enjoy each others company. I've never had a dad to turn to after a broken heart or a bad day at school. The man whom raised me from when I was 2 years old ended up crossing some big, big lines and thus, I no longer call him my dad. I don't even talk to him. And my real dad left when I was about 1.5 and only within the last 6 years have I reconnected with him. You would think after all those years of not having your daughter in your life, (and claiming you tried looking for her) that he would want to work at building that relationship. But he doesn't. We talk very minimal and maybe on holidays but I don't hold my breath.
Growing up, I used to resent those of my friends who had great relationships with their dads. I would see them hug each other, smile at each other, play rough sometimes, and cuddle up and watch a movie. I've seen lots of dad's in protective mode when the boyfriend comes around or if some guy were to give his little girl the look over. I used to be so jealous of these friends and I think it may have even created a wall in my heart towards those friends.
But I've also had some really great men treat me like their daughter. I remember in high school, Papa Bear Babiash was just like a dad to me. He would give me advice, give the best hugs, challenge me to be a better person, ask me to come around on holidays, and celebrated good things with me. He was, at that time, the closest thing to having a dad, but I still knew in my heart he wasn't my dad. It was a struggle that I dealt with often. I think of Brent here in Tulsa, he has been a spiritual father to me. Since the day I moved to Tulsa and lived with his daughter, I've felt nothing but a fatherly love from him! He has challenged me more than any person ever has. He has seen my spiritual growth over the years and has helped shape that. He asks me the hard questions, (even when I don't want them asked), he prays for me, he celebrates with me, and encourages me. He's just a great guy! When I need "fatherly" advice on something, he's usually the first guy I call.
I think the summer I spent in Peru with him definitely brought our relationship to a deeper level as I learned a great deal from him. That summer was the first time I truly experienced Jesus. Brent saw me in my weakest of moments and loved me through it. He challenged me to keep my focus on the right things, on Jesus. He taught me what he could, and like any father, then challenged me to put it into practice. He wanted to fix things but knew I needed to do it on my own, it could only be fixed if my heart was right with Jesus. This love is the best love that any human can give. Unconditional love that points you to Christ. 3 years later, I'm still processing everything I learned that summer.

All this to say, I'm getting to my point. I've had people in my life who have treated me like a daughter, but none of them have ever filled the void in my heart. The enemy likes to place the lies deep in my heart that they are not my real father so they can't love me like one. I used to believe it. Until I started to understand one of the greatest lessons I would learn. GOD IS MY FATHER! He is my Daddy. HE created me. He formed everything about me. He knows my thoughts, my flaws, my quirks, my heart. He knows what makes me laugh, makes me smile, makes me cry. God knows how many times I've fell, all the bones I've broken, every scrapped knee. He knows every broken heart and every joyous moment. God knows every single hair on my body. God knows everything about me that a Dad should know and more. This past summer I learned, and continue to learn every day on a much deeper level how God looks at me as His daughter. I learned that it's okay to want to crawl into my Daddy's lap and just cry sometimes. I've learned and let my heart even call Him Daddy.....which I've never done before. I've learned that God celebrates when I do. I realized that God places things in my life to make me smile because that's what Dads' do. I've learned that He will never hurt me. He will never leave me. He will never abuse me. My Daddy will ALWAYS desire a relationship with me and pursue it. I've learned that I can trust my Daddy even when I don't know what's going to happen. I love my Daddy. :)

One last analogy. I nanny for this great family and I get the joy of spending lots of time with an awesome 10 month old. I see how his dad interacts with him. When he picks him up and throws him in the air, the boy giggles. Why? Because he knows that his daddy with catch him, so he's just going to enjoy the ride. When the dad holds his son's hands and helps him walk, the boy is all smiles. He doesn't know where he is being led, he's just happy to walk. He trusts that his dad will take care of him. This is sort of how I feel my current journey is. I don't know the outcome. I don't know what will happen in my life after March 29. I will be on a my way home from Latvia with some direction, I just don't know what that is yet. But I'm enjoying the ride. I'll enjoy the moments God gives me thrill like "being thrown in the air" because I know He'll catch me. And if I fall, He will always help me back up. I trust my Daddy has a plan and he will not lead my astray. I will let Him hold my hand and lead me. It's the most joyous journey when you have a Daddy walking by your side, encouraging you, loving you, and cheering you on. Yes, I'll say it again, I love my Daddy :)

My prayer is that you know how your Father is. Even Jesus himself didn't have an earthly father. (Yes, Joseph raised him but Jesus' Father lives in heaven) But Jesus knew whom He belonged to. God, the Father of all fathers! I pray you really believe this deep in your heart. Our Daddy is the King! You will never have to worry about your Daddy leaving you, hurting you, beating you, abusing you, forgetting you, not calling on your birthday or holidays. You will never have to worry about not feeling loved by your daddy because God does all these things! If you stop and look around, your Daddy in heaven gives you a gift everyday! He makes you feel special and loved every single day! May you know deep in your hearts what that feels like!

Merry Christmas!