Distractions and prayers

As the time draws near, and as I confidently sit here and type that God will do amazing things, I can feel the enemy on the prowl. Up to this point, God has equipped me to know when to lift my shield of faith and be still, and when to fight back with the sword of Truth. Up to this point, most things have been deflected and I've clung to the Truths my Daddy has placed in me. However, now I'm asking for your prayers to help me stay focused. I can sense there are many distractions trying to work into my life and my heart. They come in all forms, from work, working out, friendships, family, the weather being nice, all the super exciting things happening at church. Most of these are good things to have in my life, but if I place even one of them above my relationship with my Father, than the enemy will have temporary victory. So I'm asking for your prayers to help me focus in the task given to me, laying down my own desires, and to always keep my first priority Jesus! Thank you so much in advance and I can't wait to share all the amazing stories to come!

Jeremiah 33:3

Okay, let's go. 


"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know" Jeremiah 33:3


Towards the beginning of this journey, or at least this stage of the "journey", a dear sweet friend sent me this scripture reference, Jeremiah 33:3. I looked it up and thought, "hmm this is very interesting" and pretty much put it in my back pocket so to speak. But recently, I feel myself reaching in my back pocket and referring back to this scripture almost daily. "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know". As I've asked God to help me understand what this means....He's been answering with waaaayyyy more than I can take at times.

I believe this is about something much greater than me! And I'm not just saying that to sound like a good Christian. I am truly starting to understand it's ALWAYS bigger than me! I have experienced things in life, just like you have, that have shaped my thoughts one way or another. I have seen things that have led my heart in one direction or another. I have said things that I wish I could take back and said things that revealed the deepest parts of my heart. Yet through it all, I have learned valuable, irreplaceable lessons. These are some of the "unsearchable things" I believe God is showing me.

I believe God is doing something big with this Latvia trip! I can feel it in my heart and in my soul like I've never felt before, God is on to something big! I pray I don't punk out on Him and take my own route. I want God's plans for my life, not my own. With that being said, I know the road won't always be easy. I know there will be a battle to be fought. I know that the things I have learned, the things I have overcome (only through the power and grace of Jesus) will all have to come out. For God's plans to be fully maximized, I must be fully minimized. I must place my insecurities at His feet and trust that He is in control. My life is meant for something much bigger than myself.

This past week I had the amazing opportunity to spend 5 days with my best friend from college. She came down from Wisconsin and spent every moment with me. If I had a church function, she was right along side me. If I had to workout, she worked out with me. But the cool thing was, she is the first person from my "old life" to be fully engulfed in my "new life". She got to see me interact with fellow believers who are genuine and for real. She never once felt judged by anyone and was very intrigued by many conversations she witnessed. As we were falling asleep one night we got to talking about the past and the future. We were talking about the life I used to live and how lost and empty I felt. We talked about the choices I made and the long dark path I was headed down. But then it changed, we talked about the things that are happening now! We talked a great deal about Latvia and the future. We talked a lot about the freedom I've found and purpose I've found in Jesus! We talked about how things are different and really you never know where life will take you. I never would have imagined that I would be uprooted from Wisconsin and finding myself comfortable with the uncomfortable everyday in Oklahoma. I never would have imagined I would be even considering moving to another country half way across the world! I would have never of dreamed of any of this! Yet, as Jeremiah 33:3 says, "I will tell you of great and unsearchable things".

I guess the point of this blog is really nothing except putting into words what my heart is feeling. I believe something great is about to happen! My life will change in one direction or another. I think I have a feeling which way that will go, but only Jesus knows for sure the great plans for my life! Hold on tight with me as this ride just gets crazier and more exhilarating! :) I can't wait to see what God has in store for me. Through it all, He gets the glory, He gets the spotlight, I'm just humbled to be used my such a mighty, powerful God! :) I serve an ALL MIGHTY, AWESOME GOD!

Why give up everything?

The first thing I want to say is this, I hope by no means does this blog come of sounding prideful. I don't think I have everything figured out and I by no means think I am better than anyone else, these are just my thoughts to a recent question I was asked.

Recently, someone asked me, "why would you willing give up everything you have here to go live a life over there?"

I had many instant thoughts to this question...I'll list a few..
1. What do you mean to live like that over there?
2. What am I giving up over here?
3. Do you think I'm "too good" to not live in a house and drive a car?
4. Why would I stay?

Okay, there were a few more thoughts but those were the main ones. But since being asked this question, I haven't stopped thinking about it. "why would I willing give up everything I have here and go live over there?"
I think the answer is simple and complex. But I'll make another list :)
1. I don't really see what I'm giving up that I can't have over there if God wants me to have it. Okay maybe my family, yes this is a big one. But let's be honest, I see them maybe 3 times a year...maybe when I come back for a visit I will get to spend more time with them and it will be more of a sweeter time. Besides there is Skype! :) another thing is my house with all it's luxuries. Well, It's a house, and it has been a HUGE blessing these past few years, but it's a house. I can't pack it up and take it on the plane with me, I'll be okay I'll have a roof over my head over there too...even if not up to "American" standards. So what about food? Well I think they eat in Latvia too...and really good food! No worries there, I was well-fed this summer ;-) I won't starve. So what am I willing giving up to go live over there?
2. My life is bigger than me. Whoah, that's crazy!! Ha okay maybe I just had a sarcastic moment with myself but it was funny in my head. Ha! But really, I've learned that all the lessons I've learned, am learning, and will learn are meant to be passed on. Things that God has redeemed me from and has given me Freedom and Liberty from, yea someone else probably has similar things they have gone through, why not share that freedom with them? I saw a deep need this summer, something like I've never experienced before! And this time, God has placed this urgency in my heart that I just cannot contain! As a dear friend said the other day, "Alesha, you coming to Latvia is so much bigger than you. God is hearin the cries of His people and He was waiting for a willing heart to be used by Him. You could be the answer to someone's prayer" now that's deep. I'm beyond humbled to think of that, but it's true, it's not about me at all but that people would come to know the One Savior! The Healer, Redeemer, Comforter, King of kings! It's so much bigger than me!
3. The biggest and most important of them all, my Daddy told me to go! I want to obey my Daddy and even if that means leaving everything else behind, than so be it. I know that I won't be alone, I know that I won't be on this journey by myself. My Daddy said go my child, let me lead the way. I'm always here for you and I always will be. Follow me! Now this is a lesson in the works, but when my Daddy says this to me, why would I say, no Daddy, I think I'll stay here and sell shoes. Haha NO! Hopefully my heart will always say, okay, let's go.I know there may be rough days and some people may not agree and some may try to fight me, but Daddy you have changed my life! You have given me purpose, direction, love, freedom. I will follow you wherever you go. I will give up everything if it means you can have all of me. Let's go.

Now there are still times when me flesh gets in the way and I want to hold on to the comforts of my life, but each day I humbly ask my Daddy to break me of my selfishness and make me more like Him. Each day I ask for God to lead and for my plans to be silenced. Only His will prevail, only His will stay true, only His are worth it! So why would I willing give up everything to move over there? Well, why not?

Reflections over 2011

Wow, where to even begin. 2011 held some pretty amazing blessings and lessons! Of course there were good and bad, ups and downs, moments full of joy and moments full of sorrow, but through it all I gained a deeper understanding of the love of my Daddy.

The beginning of the year I was fresh out of college, looking for a teaching job and waiting for what God would have planned for me. I stumbled upon a long-term sub job...or more it found me...and man did I learn a lot! I was the 4th teacher in a second grade North Tulsa classroom. (For those of you who don't know, North Tulsa is like teaching at an inner-city school) The first 2 weeks I came home every night, cried and was in bed sleeping by 8 pm. I was exhausted from trying to learn to each child's behavior and why they would act certain ways. I was exhausted but knew the end result of them feeling loved was worth it! Needless to say, once June came around, I felt great joy as this wonderful class had finally learned to respect each other and the rules. They learned to respect authority, if even only inside the school walls. They learned to love through differences and it was a great feeling to watch them grow. I was so proud of them!

Of course we can't forget the major snow storm that had Tulsa out for 2 weeks. During this time my roommates and I spent a lot of quality time together, Liz and I walked to Quick Trip with a sled to stock up on Dr Pepper and Diet Coke. :) We made many a memories but we were all glad when the roads were finally clear to resume our normal daily lives.

Through out all of this, I was also still processing the fact that my best friend was now in another country and I didn't like it. Yes I supported her, and still do. But I had a lot to work on with my heart. I had to let Jesus have my whole heart so He could be on the throne of my heart, nobody else. I didn't ever realize until this point that something good could become an idol unintentionally. But even good things that take our focus from Jesus are still idols.

Let's not forget the amazing church I was attending that was starting to become my family. In the spring I had made the leap to serve on our worship team. Every other week or so I get on stage and worship our Father in front of the church. This scared me at first, to me worship was a personal thing but I knew this was what God was prompting me to do so I was obedient. This may have been one of the best things I could have done. Leading worship has helped me realize even more it is not about me but about our Savior. Worship is humbling yourself before God and singing your heart out to Him for His goodness and grace. And even at times when I'm overwhelmed by His presence or moved to tears by His Spirit...I can't help it, I get lost in worship and forget I'm in front of the whole church. Basically, leading worship has brought me to a much deeper level with Jesus that I don't believe I could have gotten to on my own. I love Jesus!!! :)

Of course, the biggest lessons I may have learned, some of the biggest blessings I received happen while serving in Latvia. As stated many times before I learned more than I can process in one sitting. I learned how great and deep our Fathers' love for me is. I learned how simple it is and yet beyond measure. I learned how to serve others on their needs being met not my own. I learned how to receive a blessing even when it was hard to. I learned to trust God and let Him have all control! I learned to just let God have everything and He will give me the words, my actions, my next step..He will always lead I only need to listen for His voice and watch for His path!

Now as most of you know, 2012 is getting more and more exciting. I will be taking a trip back to Latvia in March and will be seeking God's will for my life. I feel in my heart to go but need to wait for His direction. After March 29...my life and my world is wide open. I do not know what 2012 will hold and honestly for the first time, I'm okay with that. I've learned to wait without worrying because my Daddy has all things under control. It is going to be okay but my Daddy is always with me!

I love all my family and all my friends. We may have our differences, we may have hard conversations or even get into a 'heated' discussion about things, but when it comes down to it, every person that I have ever had a conversation with, shared my heart with, shared my laughter, or shared my tears have all played a part in the lessons I've learned to this day! I can't thank God enough for the way He shows His love for me through every person, even when I don't understand the situation.

I'm buckled up. I'm holding onto my Daddy's hand, and I'm ready to go. 2012 is going to wild, it's going to be great. But most importantly it is going to be FULL OF JESUS! :)