A safe, calm, adventurous relationship! :)

Happy New Year all! :) I hope you had as great of a Christmas season as I did! I was able to venture outside of Latvia and visit a dear friend teaching English in another country. We haven't spent much time together in the last 2+ years since she has been gone but, oh what a blessed time we had together! :) While I was there visiting my friend Kate, one of her roomates, Cam, asked me three questions. Apparently these three questions tell everything about your personality. They were pretty accurate for the most part but the one that really got me thinking is the one I want to write this post about. The question was, "what is your favorite thing about nature and why?" I knew instantly, and if you have followed my blog I'm sure you could already answer this. :) But, I said it is a river or creek flowing through the forest or on a mountain side. A slow moving river engulfed in nature. I chose this because it makes me feel safe and calm. As a kid, the creek was a place I felt safe and could get away from things. Also, in 2002, it was in the middle of a river that I truly felt the presence of God for the first time. Cam proceeded to tell me that this particular question is how I view my relationship with God. I view my relationship with God as a safe calming place. I instanly agreed and so did Kate, who knows me really well. Being the over-thinker that I am, I haven't really stopped thinking about this analogy and how true it is. When I think about this image, a river twisting and winding down a mountain side, in and out of forests, their is a peace in my heart but there is also a sense of adventure. I have grown to treasure my relationship with Jesus. I have found myself being more and more real with God, (even though I already know He knows everything), I find myself being more honest with God. The more I learn about Him, the more I trust He is in control, the more I learn about His love, the more open my response to Him is. Yes I am a sinner. Yes I fail everyday but I realize that God is actively involved in my life. I realize that even though I am dirty, broken, or a filthy used rag, God thinks I am worth pursuing. Jesus sees me as HIS beloved. The more I understand this, the more I feel safe in His arms. The more I feel safe crawling into His lap. The more I feel protected by His arms and presence in my life. I know that while my Daddy is holding me, no one can get to me! But there is also adventure with Jesus. Just like this river flowing through the different forests, down the mountain side, my life has been full of twists and turns. There are moments that are more calm than others. There are moments that bring about more adventure. Some of these adventures are big, like moving to Latvia and some of these adventures are smaller, like getting caught up in a certain part of scripture and seeing God's work. No matter what the adventure is though, I feel safe that I am contained within the banks of nature around me. I am safe within the arms wrapped around my life. Also, this same image allows for a sense of exploration. Even when I was younger and we would go canoing, at certain points we would beach our canoes and get out and explore. In my relationship with Jesus, I often find myself eager to go on expeditions with Him. I find that when I wait for Him to tell me, "ah this spot looks cool, let's check it out", I get excited knowing that I am not alone and that He will always be there to catch me if I stumble and fall. Plus, when Jesus is exploring with me, I always seem to learn something new that challenges me and usually makes me a better person and Follower! My relationship with Jesus has been a calming, safe, learning, and adventurous one and I love every minute of it! There is however, one part of all this I was challenged by. I pray that even though I feel safe with my relationship with God that I do not become content in that. I pray that in the safety of my relationship with Jesus, I continue to trust Him when He calls me to step out of my comfort zone. I pray that when He tells me to do something that I am uncomfortable in, that I would trust His guidance more than my comfort. I pray that I would continue to feel safe in my relationship with Jesus but also strive to grow deeper with Him as well. Even as I type all of this out, I was faced with yet another challange. All of the things I just described to you about safety, adventure, calmness, honesty, being real, and learning are all the things I love about my relationship with Jesus but I hope one day, I can learn to feel these same things with my future husband. If you really knew me, you would know I have a hard time trusting men. It has gotten a lot better, but just because I trust a man doesn't always mean I feel 100% safe with Him. I pray that one day I meet a man who can provide a safety net to be adventurous. Someone who will teach me, challenge me, laugh with me, hold me when I'm scared, and say, "hey this looks like a great spot to explore, let's check it out". A man that when I look at him, I don't see just a man, but I see Jesus through him and the way he loves me. I pray that when the day comes to say "I do" to my husband, I can hand him my heart and know I'm still resting in the safety of our God. Until that day however, I will keep my heart rested in Jesus knowing that it is safe and being purified more and more every day. There you have it. I love Jesus. :) I'm thankful that He loves me despite my shortcomings. And I'm so thankful that I can confidently say I know a place where I am safe, I am loved, I can trust, and I can forgive. You too can have this if only you ask Jesus to help you. He is waiting for you to call out to Him and ready to love on you just the way you need it!