These are some things that God taught me this morning in church. My heart continues to be overwhelmed with the love God has for me, the love that God has for all of us. I will never fully understand but I do know this, I don't want to live another day doubting that I'm loved by God. I don't want to waste another minute not resting in His unending love. The scripture we covered this morning was John 15:9-17
1.We are called to abide in His love, His perfect love. That means we live, sleep, our daily lives are always in His love. We should never leave or feel we are without His love.
2. Jesus went from being a teacher to being a friend. He considers Himself a friend to His disciples not just their teacher. That intimate level of friendship is what God desires from us!
3. We NEVER have to doubt if we are loved by God. There have been times in my past-and even still today that I feel maybe this person doesn't like me, or maybe they don't really want to be friends, or maybe they are just being fake with me. But I NEVER have to do that with God. He chooses to love me! He chooses to just because He can!
4. 1 John 4:18 there is no fear in love! When we abide in God, when we walk with God and in His perfect love, we have nothing to fear. My future, here on this earth, yes some parts are unclear and yes at times it scares me that I will fail big time because I feel inadequate, but God's love is bigger than all that! God's love is greater than any fear! That encourages me so much!!
I know this is a short post but I just wanted to share what was on my heart! The more I seek God, the more I thirst for His love and His truth! I pray you all KNOW and EXPERIENCE the true love of a Savior, Redeemer, Creator, Father, the One true God!
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Intimacy with God
Intimacy is a word that makes me uneasy. If you knew me at all, you would know that I have a hard time with that word. Intimacy. I've seen "intimacy" displayed in many faucets and most of which have been inappropriate. I, like many other people of the world, used to think intimacy is the connection between those in love, in a marriage, between a man and a woman. To take that even farther, intimacy is the actions involved in that "love". But like most things, I'm learning my views on this is way wrong. The past few months I've heard people say over and over again, God is desiring for a more "intimate" relationship with you. And my reaction is usually, in my head, are you crazy? How can God want to be "intimate" with me? How can He desire to act upon that love for me? Intimacy is not the right word to use. Intimacy in my mind=gross.
As I have asked God to soften my heart on this view, as others have tried to explain what that intimacy looks like, I'm starting to realize the Truth! I'll put these Truths into a list to help me better organize them. :)
1. God loves me, simply because He can! Simply because He wants to. He created me, and you, for the sole purpose of having a relationship with Him. Wow. I was CREATED to have a relationship with HIM! How awesome is that!? I get to live and breath and walk on this earth to be loved by the Creator, Elohim, and to love Him. That's pretty awesome!
2. Jesus died for me. Jesus died for you. Jesus died. But it didn't stop there, He rose from the grave so that we can feel His love! God raised Jesus from the DEAD so that we could be near to Him. So that we could WORSHIP Him! So that we would believe in Him! God didn't just send some man to die for us, He sent HIS one and only Son, Jesus. A perfect man to take our place, to take my place so that I could be connected to God for all eternity! He sent His Son so that I would be seen as worthy in the eyes of God. He raised Jesus from the dead so that I would believe that the same power lives in me! Wow. I am still blown away to know that someone humbled Himself for me when I was unworthy, died for me, and rose so that I may live forever in eternity!
3. Hosea. Yes, the book of Hosea says it all. When I was wrapped up in my sins, when I was living the party life, drinking all the time, making bad choices with guys, doing the stupid things I knew were wrong, God NEVER stopped pursuing me! As it states in Hosea 2:14 "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her." God pulled me out of the darkness I was living in, transplanted me to Oklahoma and spoke tenderly to me. He has never stopped whispering in my heart telling me how beautiful I am, calling me His beloved. Even in my own pride, selfishness, stupidity, lust, bad choices, He has never stopped pursuing me. He has never stopped wooing me. He longs for me to turn to Him and believe in my heart that He loves me with a deep, compassionate, pure love. He means no harm in my life and will use my hurts and my pains to glorify Him! Yes, just rest in that TRUTH! God NEVER stops pursuing you! He sees me as His bride, His beautiful beloved! I want to be intimate with my bridegroom!! I don't know about you, but that makes me just want to sit and let Him love me. It makes me want to sit at His feet and just be in His presence! What a glorious feeling!!!
4. This last one I know I've talked about before but here is a different side. Friendships. This is the tangible application of what God is teaching me about intimacy. Intimacy is not just between a man and a woman. Intimacy comes from the sharing of your hearts. Intimacy comes from acting on the love that is only of God. Intimacy is among the best of friends. Through the last few years I have been undergoing this lesson and have not realized it until now. I have seen how God has taken friendships and what I used to think were the best friendships and has given me some greater ones. And you know what makes them different? Intimacy. There have been a handful of friendships over the past years that have required intimacy to allow them to grow deeper. There have been friendships that have challenged me to be deeper with the Lord. There have been friendships that have seen me at my worst and my best. There have been a few people who have seen places in my heart most have not. Intimacy has been the difference. Intimacy in Jesus' love has been the difference. To recount the instant connection with my dear sister Linda, this friendship is an example of the intimacy I believe God desires from me. Very quickly we moved from surface level stuff to the depths of our hearts. We barely knew the little things about each other, but we knew the thoughts of our hearts. Yes, I am sure there are things we don't know about each other, but that connection, that love that only comes from God, I have never felt anything quite like that before. The instant connection that calls you to intimacy with the Lord, this is a new feeling for me. It makes me thirst for more of Christ, it makes me hunger for more of His Truth and His love. My friendship with Linda has opened my eyes and my heart to a whole new level of Gods' love! 1 John 4:11-12 says this "Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." You see, I saw God's love for me through Linda. She loved me without even really knowing me. She displayed the unconditional love that is only of God. From her love for me, our team, her heart for the Lord, her joy, her peace, I got the privilege to walk with Jesus this summer. Each moment I was around her, I felt that Jesus was next to me and He was asking for me to receive His love. I fought it a lot, even felt very selfish at times. (ask my leaders..) But God was trying to show His love for me through Linda and it was so overwhelming with goodness and grace I had a hard time receiving it. I didn't fully understand and still don't, but I have a better picture now of just how deep God's love for me really is! And my heart is overwhelmed! :)
I pray that you feel God pursuing you! I pray that if you think you have done too many wrongs for God to love you, if you feel unworthy to be loved by an almighty Creator, that you remember Hosea and how God pursued Israel even when the worshipped idols. Remember how God sent His Son to die for you and for me. I pray that in times of hurt and sorrow, you feel God's arms wrapped around you and you feel His love. His love is what gives us strength to face the rough days and the good days. His love is worthy living for! His love is what gives us Life!
As I have asked God to soften my heart on this view, as others have tried to explain what that intimacy looks like, I'm starting to realize the Truth! I'll put these Truths into a list to help me better organize them. :)
1. God loves me, simply because He can! Simply because He wants to. He created me, and you, for the sole purpose of having a relationship with Him. Wow. I was CREATED to have a relationship with HIM! How awesome is that!? I get to live and breath and walk on this earth to be loved by the Creator, Elohim, and to love Him. That's pretty awesome!
2. Jesus died for me. Jesus died for you. Jesus died. But it didn't stop there, He rose from the grave so that we can feel His love! God raised Jesus from the DEAD so that we could be near to Him. So that we could WORSHIP Him! So that we would believe in Him! God didn't just send some man to die for us, He sent HIS one and only Son, Jesus. A perfect man to take our place, to take my place so that I could be connected to God for all eternity! He sent His Son so that I would be seen as worthy in the eyes of God. He raised Jesus from the dead so that I would believe that the same power lives in me! Wow. I am still blown away to know that someone humbled Himself for me when I was unworthy, died for me, and rose so that I may live forever in eternity!
3. Hosea. Yes, the book of Hosea says it all. When I was wrapped up in my sins, when I was living the party life, drinking all the time, making bad choices with guys, doing the stupid things I knew were wrong, God NEVER stopped pursuing me! As it states in Hosea 2:14 "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her." God pulled me out of the darkness I was living in, transplanted me to Oklahoma and spoke tenderly to me. He has never stopped whispering in my heart telling me how beautiful I am, calling me His beloved. Even in my own pride, selfishness, stupidity, lust, bad choices, He has never stopped pursuing me. He has never stopped wooing me. He longs for me to turn to Him and believe in my heart that He loves me with a deep, compassionate, pure love. He means no harm in my life and will use my hurts and my pains to glorify Him! Yes, just rest in that TRUTH! God NEVER stops pursuing you! He sees me as His bride, His beautiful beloved! I want to be intimate with my bridegroom!! I don't know about you, but that makes me just want to sit and let Him love me. It makes me want to sit at His feet and just be in His presence! What a glorious feeling!!!
4. This last one I know I've talked about before but here is a different side. Friendships. This is the tangible application of what God is teaching me about intimacy. Intimacy is not just between a man and a woman. Intimacy comes from the sharing of your hearts. Intimacy comes from acting on the love that is only of God. Intimacy is among the best of friends. Through the last few years I have been undergoing this lesson and have not realized it until now. I have seen how God has taken friendships and what I used to think were the best friendships and has given me some greater ones. And you know what makes them different? Intimacy. There have been a handful of friendships over the past years that have required intimacy to allow them to grow deeper. There have been friendships that have challenged me to be deeper with the Lord. There have been friendships that have seen me at my worst and my best. There have been a few people who have seen places in my heart most have not. Intimacy has been the difference. Intimacy in Jesus' love has been the difference. To recount the instant connection with my dear sister Linda, this friendship is an example of the intimacy I believe God desires from me. Very quickly we moved from surface level stuff to the depths of our hearts. We barely knew the little things about each other, but we knew the thoughts of our hearts. Yes, I am sure there are things we don't know about each other, but that connection, that love that only comes from God, I have never felt anything quite like that before. The instant connection that calls you to intimacy with the Lord, this is a new feeling for me. It makes me thirst for more of Christ, it makes me hunger for more of His Truth and His love. My friendship with Linda has opened my eyes and my heart to a whole new level of Gods' love! 1 John 4:11-12 says this "Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." You see, I saw God's love for me through Linda. She loved me without even really knowing me. She displayed the unconditional love that is only of God. From her love for me, our team, her heart for the Lord, her joy, her peace, I got the privilege to walk with Jesus this summer. Each moment I was around her, I felt that Jesus was next to me and He was asking for me to receive His love. I fought it a lot, even felt very selfish at times. (ask my leaders..) But God was trying to show His love for me through Linda and it was so overwhelming with goodness and grace I had a hard time receiving it. I didn't fully understand and still don't, but I have a better picture now of just how deep God's love for me really is! And my heart is overwhelmed! :)
I pray that you feel God pursuing you! I pray that if you think you have done too many wrongs for God to love you, if you feel unworthy to be loved by an almighty Creator, that you remember Hosea and how God pursued Israel even when the worshipped idols. Remember how God sent His Son to die for you and for me. I pray that in times of hurt and sorrow, you feel God's arms wrapped around you and you feel His love. His love is what gives us strength to face the rough days and the good days. His love is worthy living for! His love is what gives us Life!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
More on Love
Since being home, I've had more time than I need to process through lots of thoughts. The main thought I've thought about is Love. What is love really? Many people throw this word around so much that I feel it loses its value. Many times people say "I love you" and they just met the person. Do they really love you then? I remember this one moment a few years ago before I really started living my life for Jesus and one of my friends told me she loved me. Now this was after one of our first nights really getting to hang out and it honestly caught me off guard. What, how does she know she loves me? I was so confused. I even questioned that she even meant it. But I would soon find out and I am continuing to learn, she meant it! She meant it on a much deeper level than my heart could comprehend in that moment. You see the Truth is that God IS love. It is God in us that allows us to love. Outside of God there is no love. There simply can't be love without the presence of God in our hearts. We cannot fathom what love even is, without Jesus being the very center! In 1 John 3:16 it says this, "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters." In order for us to love, we must lay ourselves down just as Christ did for us. I've seen this played out numerous times in my life. I believe this means more than just physically giving up our last breath for someone, but dying to ourselves daily. We must die to our flesh and our desires to put others above ourselves. This summer I learned a lot about love. I learned a lot about this selfless love that Christ calls us to act upon. One example of such love happened to be when I was sick. It was in our last city and I happen to catch a stomach bug and one dear friend "laid down" her desire to want to sleep to pray over me. We slept in the same bed and the whole night she kept her hand on my back. Every time I moved, she would start praying for me again. It didn't matter that she wouldn't get a full night of sleep, but she wanted to do what she could to make sure I did not get sick again in the night. That was nothing of her, but ALL of Christ. Another example this summer was by my leaders. Yes I know this may seem small, but to me it was huge! The last day is usually when the team gets a shopping day. On most other trips the MOMs and POPs took their small groups out in groups and the leaders were together. But..my leaders blessed me tremendously by allowing me to spend those 3 hours with Linda, (one of our translators who has become closer than a sister to me) and just let the 2 of us hang out! Now I know they wanted to spend time with us leadership, but they "laid down" their desire to love me and Linda through even the smallest thing. I have countless stories about people in my life who have "laid down" their desires, their wants, their needs, to love me. I have never understood but my heart is starting to believe that I am worthy of this love. That Christ thinks of me as His beloved! My heart is grasping onto the simple but oh so deep love of my Savior! Probably the biggest lesson I learned this summer and I am continuing to process, is God's love for me, but more importantly, God's love for HIS CREATION! He longs and desires for each and every person to know Him. And not just to know His name, but to know Him intimately! To have a relationship with Him and allow Him to change your life! My prayer is that you would seek Him. I pray that you would find out for yourself the power that Christ offers to change your life! I pray that you would ask questions, be bold with Jesus, and allow yourself to open your heart to Him! Once you do, I promise you this, your life will NEVER be the same again! To be romanced by Jesus and in a life long dance for your heart, is the greatest dance you will ever take part in! :)
Think about it. Let it sink in. Someone loves you so much He humbled Himself by coming to earth, taking on human flesh, offering up His life as a sacrifice, and rose again so that you may have never ending joy and eternal life!
Think about it. Let it sink in. Someone loves you so much He humbled Himself by coming to earth, taking on human flesh, offering up His life as a sacrifice, and rose again so that you may have never ending joy and eternal life!
Monday, August 1, 2011
Love, Life, and Joy Part 3
Now for the last of the 3 biggest things I brought home in my heart. This last one is hard to put into words for the mere fact it is all in the heart. To describe a friendship so full of Christ is a difficult task but for those of you who want to know, I will try my best.
It all comes back to this beautiful woman, Linda. (I may have briefly mentioned her in part 2) We met Linda in our second city, our first full week, Kuldiga. She was a part of the Latvian team and would be one of our translators. While most of our students were building relationships with the translators since they walked with them all day, I was still adjusting to being in country and working through some issues. I unfortunately didn't talk to our translators a ton. One afternoon while we were walking the streets of Kuldiga, the ministry team I was with ran into a few of our translators on the street. (there were like 15 translators) We exchanged hugs, thankful to see a familiar face, and as we were saying goodbye I knew I had to say something to Linda but no words came to my mind. I barely even knew her, but I knew Jesus loved her so quick thinker that I am, I said , Hey, Jesus loves you. :) Ha, I did not know this would be the basis for our friendship. I did not know, nor could I have told you that we would become sisters after that moment.
From then on, every time I saw Linda I would say, Jesus loves you. Of course the more we talked, the more we found out about each other and the more we had to talk about. As our week was nearing the end, I was starting to become sad that I would have to leave my new sweet friend. I was sad that I wouldn't get to hear her worship anymore, (she has the voice of an angel!). I loved worshipping with her and listening to her. I was sad that it was to come to an end so quickly.
We would soon find out that God had other plans! :) On one of our talks, we got to talking about where we were going after we left Kuldiga and I listed off the ones I could remember. She asked if we were going to Ventspils and I had said that it sounded familiar but wasn't sure. Sure enough, we were going there in a week and to my surprise so was Linda. You see her mom lives in Ventspils and she was going to visit her mom the same time we were going to be there and for the whole week as well. Of course this made me excited to see her again but our friendship was in the beginning stages and I wasn't expecting much. But there was something different about her. I just couldn't wait to see her again and hug her and tell her, Jesus loves you!
The night we arrived in Ventspils she met us at the church service and it was a sweet reunion of friendship. Because we had so many translators in Ventspils as well, it allowed more time for Linda and I to talk and get to know one another. The night that drew us the closest was when the Kristine story happened. (Part 2 if you didn't read it) You see I needed a translator to tell Kristine my story and Linda was the one God had laid on my heart. So I asked her to be there for it and when you talk about such deep things on your heart, when you talk about the things of God and how He changed your life, you'd be a fool if that didn't bring you deeper in love to one another and closer together as friends. The next few days we both opened up about our pasts, we both talked about God's great glory in our lives and we fit probably 2 years worth of getting to know someone in 2 days. God was moving in our hearts that He drew us closer than friends, He bound our hearts as sisters! Thankfully when we left Ventspils, Linda had a few free days so she traveled to Liepaja with us for a few days. This only drew us closer as you can imagine. We talked for hours on the bus, we roomed together with Whitney, and we prayed together numerous times. She even took care of me when I got sick and prayed over me all night so I could get some rest. As the time came near that I knew she would have to leave to go back to Riga I could feel my heart beginning to break. I realized the depth of our friendship. Yes it was a very simple love for one another, but it was deeper than anything I've experienced in 3 weeks. My heart broke knowing I'd have to say goodbye to one of the best gifts I've received from God. But I had joy in my heart that I would see her again in a few days since she lived in Riga! (the city we would fly out of).
My leaders blessed me with an incredible afternoon in Riga. While the students went shopping, they informed Linda and I that we could hang out and spend that time one on one. For 3 hours we walked around Riga, ate pica (pizza), got smoothies, ice cream, and took pictures. We got to just be friends for a few hours and talk about what was next for our lives. We got the chance to not focus all of our attention on 13 students and just got to be silly, goofy, serious, whatever we felt like doing. When you experience a friendship like this you know the Lord is all over it. You know God has something great planned when He gives you such a sweet blessing. Yes the following day was EXTREMELY hard to say goodbye. I barely slept all night because I knew I would have to say goodbye, if not for good, then for a long while. How could I say goodbye to yet another friend who meant so much to my heart?
Now all that to say, I will share a few things that I learned from this friendship. 1. Linda had a pure joy for the Lord. Her presence exudes the presence of Jesus. The joy that is in her heart, the joy that is in her smile, the joy behind her laugh, is all of Jesus. Even when things are tough, she had pure joy that can only come from the Lord. She truly did rejoice always! 2. When we least expect it, in the most unexpected places, God can give us the greatest blessings. I had no idea I would meet such an incredible friend this summer! I had no idea I would have found my sister in Latvia. I didn't expect to receive the blessing and gift that God gave me this summer. Yet, I continue to thank Him for the unexpected blessing. 3. When God is in control, when He is the source, that is all that matters. If I had my way, if I was in control, I would not have let Linda see so much of my heart. After having to say goodbye to such a dear friend last summer, I had my heart closed off to others. (even more than I realized). But God was in complete control. I surrendered my heart to Him this summer to use as He will. And He sure did. The most interesting part of this whole story, the friendship of Linda and I, was God's hand in it all. When we left the United States, we were under the impression Kuldiga was our last city. However, when we arrived in country, Kuldiga was in our first week. Imagine that. Then the rest of the order was moved around as well. What are the odds that we would be going to Ventspils the same exact time as Linda? And that she would have a few free days to travel to Liepaja with us? When God is in control and you surrender to His will, He has greater things planned! 4. The last part tag teams off the previous one. When God is apart of something, nothing can tear it apart. This realization helped me with my friend who is serving overseas. This past year I focused my energy on her not being around anymore. I focused my frustrations on having to yet again say goodbye to someone. But meeting Linda and seeing God's hand all over that friendship, reminded me of my friend K. The same is true with her. God brought us together, God grew us together as friends, and even miles apart He can continue to grow us together. When He is the focus of your heart, not anyone or anything else, HE is all that matters! I realized with Linda and K that I would rather have the best and deepest friendships be of God and miles apart, than have lots of shallow friends right next door. I believe God has great things planned for my friendships with both of these sweet and dear friends. My heart believes there is more than just goodbye even if I never get to hug either of them again.
I know this was probably a big confusing mess, but like I said, it is hard to put into words what my friendship with Linda was like. It was so simple, it started off with saying, Jesus loves you. But just like God's love for us, just because it is simple, doesn't mean it doesn't run deep. Linda has a special place in my heart and she always will. She continues to encourage me to rejoice always, love Jesus with all that I am, and pray for greater things! She made Colossians 2:2-3 come alive for me this summer!
My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. Colossians 2:2-3
It all comes back to this beautiful woman, Linda. (I may have briefly mentioned her in part 2) We met Linda in our second city, our first full week, Kuldiga. She was a part of the Latvian team and would be one of our translators. While most of our students were building relationships with the translators since they walked with them all day, I was still adjusting to being in country and working through some issues. I unfortunately didn't talk to our translators a ton. One afternoon while we were walking the streets of Kuldiga, the ministry team I was with ran into a few of our translators on the street. (there were like 15 translators) We exchanged hugs, thankful to see a familiar face, and as we were saying goodbye I knew I had to say something to Linda but no words came to my mind. I barely even knew her, but I knew Jesus loved her so quick thinker that I am, I said , Hey, Jesus loves you. :) Ha, I did not know this would be the basis for our friendship. I did not know, nor could I have told you that we would become sisters after that moment.
From then on, every time I saw Linda I would say, Jesus loves you. Of course the more we talked, the more we found out about each other and the more we had to talk about. As our week was nearing the end, I was starting to become sad that I would have to leave my new sweet friend. I was sad that I wouldn't get to hear her worship anymore, (she has the voice of an angel!). I loved worshipping with her and listening to her. I was sad that it was to come to an end so quickly.
We would soon find out that God had other plans! :) On one of our talks, we got to talking about where we were going after we left Kuldiga and I listed off the ones I could remember. She asked if we were going to Ventspils and I had said that it sounded familiar but wasn't sure. Sure enough, we were going there in a week and to my surprise so was Linda. You see her mom lives in Ventspils and she was going to visit her mom the same time we were going to be there and for the whole week as well. Of course this made me excited to see her again but our friendship was in the beginning stages and I wasn't expecting much. But there was something different about her. I just couldn't wait to see her again and hug her and tell her, Jesus loves you!
The night we arrived in Ventspils she met us at the church service and it was a sweet reunion of friendship. Because we had so many translators in Ventspils as well, it allowed more time for Linda and I to talk and get to know one another. The night that drew us the closest was when the Kristine story happened. (Part 2 if you didn't read it) You see I needed a translator to tell Kristine my story and Linda was the one God had laid on my heart. So I asked her to be there for it and when you talk about such deep things on your heart, when you talk about the things of God and how He changed your life, you'd be a fool if that didn't bring you deeper in love to one another and closer together as friends. The next few days we both opened up about our pasts, we both talked about God's great glory in our lives and we fit probably 2 years worth of getting to know someone in 2 days. God was moving in our hearts that He drew us closer than friends, He bound our hearts as sisters! Thankfully when we left Ventspils, Linda had a few free days so she traveled to Liepaja with us for a few days. This only drew us closer as you can imagine. We talked for hours on the bus, we roomed together with Whitney, and we prayed together numerous times. She even took care of me when I got sick and prayed over me all night so I could get some rest. As the time came near that I knew she would have to leave to go back to Riga I could feel my heart beginning to break. I realized the depth of our friendship. Yes it was a very simple love for one another, but it was deeper than anything I've experienced in 3 weeks. My heart broke knowing I'd have to say goodbye to one of the best gifts I've received from God. But I had joy in my heart that I would see her again in a few days since she lived in Riga! (the city we would fly out of).
My leaders blessed me with an incredible afternoon in Riga. While the students went shopping, they informed Linda and I that we could hang out and spend that time one on one. For 3 hours we walked around Riga, ate pica (pizza), got smoothies, ice cream, and took pictures. We got to just be friends for a few hours and talk about what was next for our lives. We got the chance to not focus all of our attention on 13 students and just got to be silly, goofy, serious, whatever we felt like doing. When you experience a friendship like this you know the Lord is all over it. You know God has something great planned when He gives you such a sweet blessing. Yes the following day was EXTREMELY hard to say goodbye. I barely slept all night because I knew I would have to say goodbye, if not for good, then for a long while. How could I say goodbye to yet another friend who meant so much to my heart?
Now all that to say, I will share a few things that I learned from this friendship. 1. Linda had a pure joy for the Lord. Her presence exudes the presence of Jesus. The joy that is in her heart, the joy that is in her smile, the joy behind her laugh, is all of Jesus. Even when things are tough, she had pure joy that can only come from the Lord. She truly did rejoice always! 2. When we least expect it, in the most unexpected places, God can give us the greatest blessings. I had no idea I would meet such an incredible friend this summer! I had no idea I would have found my sister in Latvia. I didn't expect to receive the blessing and gift that God gave me this summer. Yet, I continue to thank Him for the unexpected blessing. 3. When God is in control, when He is the source, that is all that matters. If I had my way, if I was in control, I would not have let Linda see so much of my heart. After having to say goodbye to such a dear friend last summer, I had my heart closed off to others. (even more than I realized). But God was in complete control. I surrendered my heart to Him this summer to use as He will. And He sure did. The most interesting part of this whole story, the friendship of Linda and I, was God's hand in it all. When we left the United States, we were under the impression Kuldiga was our last city. However, when we arrived in country, Kuldiga was in our first week. Imagine that. Then the rest of the order was moved around as well. What are the odds that we would be going to Ventspils the same exact time as Linda? And that she would have a few free days to travel to Liepaja with us? When God is in control and you surrender to His will, He has greater things planned! 4. The last part tag teams off the previous one. When God is apart of something, nothing can tear it apart. This realization helped me with my friend who is serving overseas. This past year I focused my energy on her not being around anymore. I focused my frustrations on having to yet again say goodbye to someone. But meeting Linda and seeing God's hand all over that friendship, reminded me of my friend K. The same is true with her. God brought us together, God grew us together as friends, and even miles apart He can continue to grow us together. When He is the focus of your heart, not anyone or anything else, HE is all that matters! I realized with Linda and K that I would rather have the best and deepest friendships be of God and miles apart, than have lots of shallow friends right next door. I believe God has great things planned for my friendships with both of these sweet and dear friends. My heart believes there is more than just goodbye even if I never get to hug either of them again.
I know this was probably a big confusing mess, but like I said, it is hard to put into words what my friendship with Linda was like. It was so simple, it started off with saying, Jesus loves you. But just like God's love for us, just because it is simple, doesn't mean it doesn't run deep. Linda has a special place in my heart and she always will. She continues to encourage me to rejoice always, love Jesus with all that I am, and pray for greater things! She made Colossians 2:2-3 come alive for me this summer!
My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. Colossians 2:2-3
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