Hello blog world! :)
It has been a long time since I wrote last. I apologize for that. God has been teaching me so much about so many things. Tonight, I want to share part of a song with you. "Oceans" by Hillsong United has been very popular, you may even know it. From the first time I heard this song, it has become a daily prayer of mine. I wanted to take some time tonight and show you a glimpse of what this prayer means to me. This is may not exactly be what they had in mind when they wrote this song but this is what it means to me. I hope you enjoy.
If you haven't heard it before, here are the words of the bridge. "Spirit lead me where my trust is without boarders. Let me walk upon the waters, where ever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander. My faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior." I am going to break it down line by line. :)
Spirit lead me: I've started to understand, if I want God's Spirit to lead me, I need to see it as more than a "Ghost". (I was raised to see the Trinity as the Father, Son and Holy Ghost) I need to feel which direction and where to take my next step from the Spirit. For this to happen I need to not see God's Spirit as a creepy, translucent, "Casper" looking ghost but see it as something that lives inside of me. I need to sense God's Spirit inside of me. To say Spirit lead me also means I give up control. I don't want to determine my steps but I want God's Spirit to determine them for me.
Where my trust is without boarders: this line may be the most challenging for me. So many times in life I let God guide me within my own limits. I let Him guide me to a point of trust. When I reach that limit or that place of doubt I tend to say, "okay God, that's far enough". I'm learning to push past that. Last Summer, Matiss asked me to pray about being the youth leader this year. If I'm honest, my first reaction was heck no! Matiss encouraged me to take a month and pray about it. Really seek God and see what His plans are not mine. I was attending a History Makers United camp and during my morning Jesus time, I sat and listened to "Oceans". When I heard, "lead me where my trust is without boarders" I fell to my face and cried. I understood in that moment God was saying to me, "Alesha, you have asked me to lead you beyond your trust boarders. If you do not step outside of your strengths, outside of what you believe you can do, outside of yourself, then I cannot take you further. I need you to trust me without limits. I can do far greater things through your complete submissive obedience. Trust me and I will push you deeper. I will not let you sink. I will not let you get lost. I will be with you every step of the way. Trust me." So again I sang with all my heart, "Spirit lead me where my trust is without boarders!"
Let me walk upon the waters: I remember the story of the disciples when Jesus was walking on water. Peter got out of the boat and walked on water until he took his eyes off Jesus. Then he began to sink. This is a reminder for me to always keep my eyes on Jesus. I can only "walk on the waters" of life when I keep my eyes on Jesus. No matter what comes my way: loneliness, feelings of defeat, temptations, helplessness, homesickness, no matter what, if I keep my eyes on Jesus, I will get through it with great victory! I will walk upon the waters!
Where ever you would call me: This brings me back to my summer in Peru. There was a moment I had with God where I surrendered my life to Jesus. Fully and completely. I told God I wanted to quit fighting against Him and start fighting alongside Him. I said to God, I surrender to You. Where ever you want me to go, I will go. Whatever you want me to do, I will do. I never want to live another day outside of your will. If that means I need to give up everything and everyone in my life, I know I will always have enough in You. I trust You. Do with my life, what you must! Ever since that day in Peru, I have tried my best to follow God wherever He would lead no matter the cost. Of course, there are moments I think about going back home and being with my family or church family but I know that I am doing exactly what God has asked me to do and that in itself brings comfort and joy. As I stay in His will, He will provide everything I need exactly when I need it.
Take me deeper than me feet could ever wander: this is much like beyond my trust boarder but for story sake I'll tell you a story that comes to mind when I sing this. I was in Florida one time with my cousins. Pj and I went swimming in the ocean. Now if you really knew you would know that I really am actually afraid of waves because of a terrifying situation from childhood. However, I have tried many times to overcome this. Anyway, Pj and I went swimming and we notice about some 75-100 yards out from shore was a sand bar that you could stand on. The water would still come up to your knees but we thought, "wouldn't it be cool to stand in the middle of the ocean?" So off we went. We were almost there when I got tired of fighting the waves (I also cannot swim all that well) and I couldn't touch the ground. I was literally deeper than my feet could take me. Pj was standing on this sandbar just a little over arms reach away but every time I got close, a wave would pull me back. This went on for about 5 minutes before I was finally able to reach the sandbar. Looking back I know God is using this moment to relate this song to my life. I was deeper than my feet could touch. I was using my strength to push forward as well as keep my head about the waves. Pj stretched out his hand and pulled me to safety. Which leads me to the next and last line.
My faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior: Pj pulled me to safety. When I was using all my strength, giving everything I had to make it just a little bit farther, I had to rely on Pj to help pull me the extra little bit. This is the same with God. There have been times in my life, like stepping up to be the youth leader, where I have felt in a similar situation. I am deep in the ocean and I am just trying to keep my head above the waves. Every time I come to the end of me, Jesus is there to pull me deeper. Jesus is there to pull me to a place of rest. In the presence of my Savior, knowing that He constantly pulls me to the next place, my faith is ALWAYS made stronger. This can only happen while I am in His presence.
And that is what I think this whole song is about and that is what God has been teaching me. Stay in His presence. There your faith will be made stronger every day. In the presence of God we receive the biggest blessing we could ever get, HIM! It is not about the things we do or the things we are great at. It is not about serving God more or doing more for God. It is all about resting in His presence! Daily being in the presence of God and through that our faith will be made stronger!
I encourage you, if you haven't heard this song, listen to it. Shut off all distractions close your eyes and listen. Multiple times. Let these words become your prayer. Let Jesus take you farther and deeper than you ever imagined. Trust Him with your heart, your soul, and your life. I promise you, it will all be worth it!
Check out the song here! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m_sWJQm2fs
