Love, Life, and Joy Part 2

After having a blessed night celebrating a friends birthday, I am ready to share part 2. :)

The second story I have to share with you is about life. The life and redemption that only Jesus can give us. As a leader, most times you don't get the privilege of sharing your testimony with the locals. As TDs (Team Directors) our ministry is to the students. We spend our time with Jesus first, then us as partners, then to the students. This trip, Jesus orchestrated one of the most beautiful encounters I have had the honor to partake in. It was all of God and nothing of me. There was a particular girl who had come to watch our students perform the drama. While one of our students was giving his testimony she was brought to tears. His testimony demonstrated how God had allowed him to feel love, be loved, and love. As a young baby his parents left him and his sister to be alone. A loving American family adopted them and it took him years to truly feel love. It took the Love of Christ to break down the walls around his heart to love as Christ has called him to love. This young girl, Kristine-16, has a similar story. Her story is similar in the fact that she doesn't have a family that knows how to portray love. Her mother hardly ever tells her that she loves her daughter and Kristine's father is not around. Most nights Kristine comes home to her mother being gone (her mother sleeps with different guys every night) or being locked out of the house. When she is home, Kristine has to share a bedroom with her 2 brothers. At night, one of her brothers has molested her in the past. To take away the pain in her heart she has learned to cut herself. She desperately longs for the love of a family, to feel apart of a family. She wants to experience life the way God created it.
All that to say, she talked to this young man after we performed the drama. They talked until he had to leave for the night but he made sure to invite her to church the next morning. Even though we weren't really sure what she would do, she showed up in church the next morning eager to learn more about this Jesus we so affectionately talked about. After church she went to the beach with us, (it was a free day for our team) and started to talk to 2 of our leaders. She got into more detail about her story and they knew she needed to spend more time with our team. She needed to see what being apart of the family, the body of Christ really was like. We were having a celebratory cookout with our Ventspils friends and family and our leaders invited her to come with us. Before we left, we all met back at the church to gather up the things we needed and headed to the cookout. As our team was walking out the door, one of my leaders (K) pulled me aside and asked if I would share my testimony with her. We have been through some similar things and it would be great for her to see the redeeming love of our Father through what He has done in my heart. (Now mind you, for the 2 days leading up to this moment, I felt God was preparing my heart to share my testimony. I just didn't know with whom it would be but I knew he was preparing me to share some deep stuff in my heart. So when K had asked me to share, it was like God was saying, now is the time to share what great things I've done. It was a no brainer, of course the answer was yes! :) )
Now, one of our translators had a car and was driving and asked if someone could go with her, so K had said, "Sure, take Alesha and Kristine with you and we will meet you all there." The rest of the team had to walk for like 30 minutes so this wonderful translator took the this opportunity to show me a couple places in the city. This was perfect because it allowed for Kristine and I to have a conversation and get to know each other. We had fun just being silly and started off our friendship very non-threatening. Then I asked her some more threatening questions. The conversation went something like this...obviously through a translator.
Me: "Are you a Christian?"
Kristine: "Well, yea I guess."
M: "Do you have a relationship with Jesus?"
K: "No."
M: "Why not?"
K: "I don't know. I guess I don't really know what that means."
Then I took the time to explain to her about Jesus being like our best friend. We can always talk to Him, lean on Him, trust Him with our deepest secrets. I honestly don't remember everything that was said but I did also mention that when we are with Jesus, we all become family. That we are all brothers and sisters and that is the greatest family to be a part of. The last sentence is what stuck in her heart I think. I then asked if she would allow me to share my story with her at some point tonight at the cookout and she seemed very interested. We finally showed up to the cookout, after the rest of our team, and hang out as a family. We laughed, we worshiped, we played games, we ate great food, we were silly, we were serious. She truly saw us being a family and I could see God working on her heart. After a few string of events, I had left her by herself and she took this opportunity to try and sneak out. But we knew that God wasn't ready for her to leave. So I took off running down the street after her. By the time I got to the corner where she was, a translator wasn't far behind. It took some convincing, and lots of praying, to get her to come back. I knew that I was supposed to share my story so I even made a deal with her that we would sit in the front yard and not the back where everyone else was.
For the next hour and half to 2 hours, I shared my story with her. I told her about the events in my life that had led me to feel unworthy, to feel unloved, to feel alone and want to run away. But then I shared the greatest part, how God had redeemed me! I shared with her some scripture about Jesus speaking tenderly to me, about learning to forgive those who have heart me deeply so that I could see God as my Father. I shared with her many things that I do not remember. Things that I have never talked about, things I didn't even know God had redeemed me from. I shared about how God gave me the most incredible life and how He placed this joy in my heart that cannot be taken away. Even though many tears were shed by all 3 of us, (Kristine, the translator-Linda, and me) there was an indescribable joy in my heart! When I felt God telling me to just pause for a moment Kristine asked if she could pray for me. Of course I was thrilled for this to happen and there are 2 things that stuck out to me in her prayer. The first one was she pointed out how God had made me a fighter. She was thankful God had instilled that fight in me so that He could cross our paths. If I would not have fought to live a better life, then I would not be there with her. The second thing was that she was beginning to realize if she allowed Jesus to be her Father then she would have the greatest sisters on earth. This made me realize she was beginning to see how great Jesus is! I was thrilled in my heart!
Then after she prayed for me, she began to tell me some of her life. She told me all that I told you in the 2nd paragraph. She even rolled up her sleeves to show me the cuts on her arm from where she had cut herself and there were scars on top of scars on top of scars. My heart broke seeing the hurt she was in and how she was fighting those emotions. (every time she would start to feel something, she would cramp up or people would walk by and talk to us. The enemy was doing what he could to keep her distracted) We would soon have to wrap our conversation up as it was time for me to leave. The team had even left me there to continue our conversation and had my host family come pick me up there instead of at the church. But I left the conversation joyful for what God was doing in her heart, but not at peace that the enemy would let her go that easy. That night I spent a good 2-3 hours crying and praying. I didn't know what I was praying for I just knew I was supposed to pray. I have never experienced anything quite like this and I think I even cried myself to sleep around 1 am.
The next morning I was very restless and anxious. I wasn't sure if it was from the events the night before or just me being tired. But I pressed into the Lord and knew I needed all of His strength that day because I had nothing left. After the first drama was over, our leaders had pulled my partner and I aside and told us what had happened the night before. (These next sentences are all from what I remember being told to me.) You see, after I had left Kristine, her heart was so confused about so many things she called K and said she was going to kill herself. They told her to come to the church and they would be there waiting for her. After about 45 minutes they decided to run to where they knew she was. Once she saw them running towards her, she took off running. She ran through one field, through one gate and another until finally the next gate was locked. She didn't have anywhere else to go so she sat down and cried. One of my leaders sat down next to her and cried with her and prayed over her. Kristine then proceeded to say some words that the translator would not translate, but they knew she was mocking them. She would say things like go home to your comfortable beds, your loving family, quit wasting your time on me. You don't care about me anyway and you are just a bunch of clowns. After some time of this, the people present who were female, K-my leader, asked for them to leave. He knew somethings were about to take place that they shouldn't see. And unfortunately he was right. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of broken glass and proceeded to cut herself. She cut herself so deep that blood was running down her arms. Now K just sat there until the Lord finally told him it was time to stand up and leave. The choice was in her hands now, either she could give her life to Christ or she could give into the enemy, but there was nothing that K could do anymore. So K stood up and told her that he would be at the church and that if she wanted to join her big brother, he would be there waiting for her. Then he turned around and walked away. By the time he was back on the same street that the church was on, he heard Kristine running behind him yelling big brother, big brother, I'm coming. He knew if he would have stopped or turned around it was all over and she would run away. So he kept walking. As he reached the corner the church was on she said, "Big brother, big brother, I need to pray now! I need to pray for Jesus now!" Just then the translator had pulled up in the car and they all prayed together. After they finished praying, Kristine told K that she had something to give him. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the piece of glass and said, here take it, I don't need it anymore.

Whew....deep breath. I realize that was a lot of information but it is all crucial. See, there were about 5 people who were placed on this team together for this very purpose. To share the love of Christ with this one 16 year old girl. I rejoice with our Father knowing that she belongs to Him now and not the enemy! I rejoice in the new found realization that my Daddy has redeemed me from so much in my life and has given me a new life! A life in Him! As much as God used me, along with many others, in Kristine's life, He used her in mine.
The next time I saw Kristine, I hugged her with a joyful heart knowing she is now apart of our family. I said to her the 3 sentences I knew in Latvian. Tu esi mana masa Jezu Kristu. Jezus loti tevi mil! Es tevi milu! (You are my sister in Jesus Christ. Jesus loves you a lot! I love you!) She hugged me back and I think that was the biggest hug I have ever received from anyone before. It gave me peace in my heart to know she genuinely belong to our Father!

I would ask you join me in prayer for Kristine. The enemy is not through trying to take her life. The enemy still seeks to destroy her life and I believe it is because our God has great things planned for her life! Please join me in prayer and also remember to appreciate your loving families and your comfortable beds. Count those small blessings in your life and thank the One who gave them to you.

Romans 10:9-10  If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. 

Love, Life, and Joy Part 1

Well some of you may have been anticipating the post that describes what I did this summer, what I learned, and what I'm bringing home. More than ever this year it is hard to put into words but I will try my best to depict for you the 3 biggest lessons our Daddy has taught me. The 3 biggest lessons all have to do with 3 names, 3 simple words, 3 stories. Rafael, Kristine, and Linda. Love, life, and joy!

I will probably break these into 3 different blogs or else this could get pretty lengthy. I'll start off with Rafael as this story will help shape the rest. Everything happens in His perfect timing and it was important this story was first on my journey.
About halfway through our trip, we left Talsi and headed to an orphanage. If I am correct, it's called Kakishi. We arrived and the room they wanted our students to perform the drama is was no bigger than a rather large walk in closet. It would have been a tight fit for 17 of us, + 4 translators, and the people we were there to love on. We decided it was best to perform the drama outside even though rain clouds looked to threaten our performance. We were confident God was going to show up despite the rain. As the students started worshipping, the children started to come out of the building with what warm clothes they had, and some were still in shorts and short sleeves. From the first look into the eyes of one the children, my heart was broken. Would these kids ever know that they were loved?
We started the drama and I decided to go sit on the opposite side of the "stage" and reflect and thank God for the blessings He had given me in my life. I couldn't help but remember all the times as a kid I knew I had somewhere to run to feel loved. I knew I could feel the warm embrace from a loved ones hug, but would these kids ever get that? As I was praying for each of the faces I saw, this little boy came and crawled in my lap. He made himself at home. I could tell he was comfortable by the sigh when he laid his head on my chest. He pulled my hand so it was across his body resting in his lap. I tried my best to hold back the tears. For the rest of the drama we both sat there in complete peace. When I clapped, he clapped. When I cheered, he cheered. He was my mini me in that moment.
After the drama was over, we played for a little bit until he thought he would check out the rest of the students. But the odd thing was, he always returned to me for a moment of rest. He wanted to play this chasing game with me so we started to play around. Then one of the guys on our team ran up to him and picked him up and this scared the little boy. I would later find out his name is Rafael and Rafael came running to me to protect him. He went and played some more and then came back and sat on my lap. He kept repeating this same word to me and kissing me and hugging me. I couldn't take not knowing anymore so I walked him over to a translator and asked him to repeat what he was saying. She paused a moment before she repeated those precious words. She said, "He is calling you his momma. He said he's ready to go home now and he loves his momma." As you can imagine, I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I held him close and shed a few tears before I pulled  it together again to play with him. We were probably there for about an hour just playing and loving on them. But when you experience love like that, no time seems long enough. (I imagine this is what parents feel like when their kids grow up, go off to school, get married etc. They wish time would slow down.) As it was time to say goodbye, Rafael looked at me and said, "Paldies Mamu. Es tevi milu." (Thank you Momma. I love you.) At this point, one of the leaders told me it was okay to go to the bus first because he knew saying goodbye would be hard. I sat on the bus looking out the window and watched as all the kids said goodbye to our students. I notice Rafael looking all around, I can only imagine he was looking for me. Once he spotted me in the window he waved, reached in his pocket and took out a picture of me, (he found one of my prayer cards in my backpack and kept it), kissed it and waved goodbye again as he gently placed the card back in his pocket.
Every student got on the bus a changed person. Every person was broken for those precious faces they had seen and kissed. Each student was filled with something that left them speechless. Our 45 minute bus ride was the quietest I had ever heard our team of 17 be the whole summer. As I sat and reflected in the quiet of the bus I heard God speak to me very clearly. He said, "Alesha, wasn't that so sweet how Rafael didn't even know you, he had never seen you before, yet he loved you? He climbed into your lap and felt at peace and felt safe in your presence and even called you Mom. He saw you as a safe place and as his protector. Alesha, you want to know the even better thing? Let me love you like that. I long for you to crawl into my lap. Even though you can't physically touch me or feel me, I love you. Let me be your safe place. Rest your head against my chest. Call out to me as your Daddy. Let me protect you for the storms and love you with an unconditional love. Believe that I love you Alesha. My precious daughter, you are my beloved, let me love you like Rafael let you love him." The next few moments were filled with many tears but I felt the presence of my Daddy wrap His arms around me and kiss me on the forehead. Through the simple love of a little boy, Rafael, I have a deeper understanding of how my Daddy longs for me to rest in His lap. I have a greater appreciation for the little things He has done in my life and will continue to do. My Daddy loves me, and He loves you too. I pray you know that! I pray you believe that!

Psalm 89:26 "He will call out to me, You are my Father, my God, the Rock my Savior!"