Listening to the Whispers

This past weekend was a bit of a rough one emotionally. I kept finding myself wondering if Jesus was really enough? During a time in life where I'm supposed to be moving forward with life, I so often find myself moving backwards. This could be emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and even in physical aspects of life. 


Relationships-friendships have always been a struggle for me in the sense of trust. I don't trust very easily and in the past have found myself not worth anyones times. I didn't want to bother anyone when I know they had important things already going on in life. But with the help of a very precious friend, she has helped me overcome a lot of emotions and feelings of unworthiness. But trust is something I still struggle with and this past weekend my emotional trust world was rocked, or maybe I was just seeing what others were trying to tell me. Either way, my heart was a mess and I was falling into my Daddy's arms many times through out the day asking for His strength to get me through. His grace and love IS sufficient! 


The other fall back is my car. I believe my transmission is going out in my car and I'm fresh out of college with too many school loans and not financial stability to start making car payments and loan payments. I know I cannot do this alone. I know I cannot move forward in life without my Daddy leading me. And Yes, He knows my needs and has met them every time in such unexpected ways. So what about the car? Well, we may have a fix. Some new dear friends have an extra car, and if the car checks out okay, we will be striking a deal that is only orchestrated by God! 


So where is all this going? Now that we got through the confusing mess, here's some scripture. I was talking with a friend about her recent life struggles and I was reminded of the great book of Hosea. 2:14&19-20 reads like this. 


¹⁴ “Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her. ¹⁹ I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. ²⁰ I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the LORD.


These are such great verses. These verses remind me of how I felt when I made the move from Wisconsin to Oklahoma. I felt so alone, everything I had known, all the comforts of life, anything that made me feel relaxed, all the "fun" times I had, it was all gone. I was stripped of everything and who did I lean on? The One who had allured me there in the first place. My Savior! I feel this season has come again but in a different life. Instead of leaving one "world" and entering another "world". I'm still in the same house, still surrounded by most of the same people, my daily activities are still the same, but God is alluring my heart to the wilderness and speaking tenderly. And the greatest part about it? I realize that NOTHING else matters. Relationship issues, car troubles, school loans, crappy job, life at a stand still, none of it matters because I know, I believe, I hold on to the knowledge of knowing my God loves me. He whispers tenderly to my heart, He pursues me with an undying love. And when I realized that, everything else started falling into place. I trust my Daddy more than ever before, I love my Daddy more than ever before, and I'll sit here and soak up His love while I wait for the next step to be revealed. I'm loving being in the presence of my God!