I've been pondering this blog for some time now. I've wanted to write, just never had the right words to form the sentences. God has been taking me on a journey. (aren't we all on one?) during this journey God has spoken tenderly to my heart, whispered to my heart, and taught me many things. Some which I will share and some I think were meant just for me. Either way I am overwhelmed by Gods' grace!
In the last month or so I have failed at many things. I haven't always been the best employee, the best friend, or even the best daughter. I have said things that have hurt those I love, I have been selfish, and I have turned the other way when someone needed my love. I don't have it all figured out yet and I don't think I ever fully will, but even through my selfishness God still continues to bless me with His presence.
I've read lots of scripture, heard many a sermon and the underlying theme of it all, an undeserving grace! When God saved the Israleties and led them out of Egypt, they doubted Him yet He still saved them. Grace was displayed. When Jonah diliberately tried running from God, He sent a big fish to swallow Jonah and spoke to Jonah's heart and saved him. Grace. When the adulterous woman was thrown to the street to be stoned, Jesus stepped in and said, let He who be without sin cast the first stone...Grace. And when Judas betrayed Him, the Romans whipped Him, mocked Him, crowned Him, crucified Him, He gave up His very life for them. Grace. You see all around in scripture we see evidence of God's grace. His love. No matter what, our lives are covered in His grace! This has been a hard thought to believe. Even though I have done all these bad things, (okay you may not think they are so bad), my life is covered in His grace. Grace I don't deserve but He gives me anyway. Grace I don't understand but the more I learn about it, the more I see I don't deserve it. And the more I learn about it, the more I want to show others His grace! The more I want to show others His love. The more I learn of His grace and His love, the more I want others to see more of Jesus and less of me. I have nothing to offer people. I fail everyday. But Jesus has everything to give!
Let's go back to the story in John 8 where the woman is about to be stoned. I can't even imagine being a disciple watching this take place. There is the woman who is naked surrounded by all these men, each one holding a stone. Now I imagine they aren't just holding pebbles but rocks the size of baseballs or grapefruits even. They are about to throw the stone. Now I could imagine the thoughts in this woman's head. Was it worth it? Sleeping around with all these men, feeling dirty, worthless, used, empty. Was it worth it for this? To be humiliated in public and stoned to death? I bet she was thinking it wasn't worth it at all. Then let's watch what happens next. Jesus. :-) Jesus steps in and says, let he who is without sin be the first to cast a stone. I imagine at this point you could hear a pin drop. Then one man drops his baseball sized stone and walks away. Then one after another they all drop their stones and walk away until all that is left is Jesus and this woman. Now imagine her thoughts, she's humiliated, feeling shameful, dirty, and now she's in front of Jesus, alone. He bends done to her level, lifts up her face and says I don't condem you. Now go, turn away from your sin. I could not even imagine looking into His eyes and seeing all that grace and love in them. Wow. This account has hit me much deeper than every before. This woman did not "deserve" any thing good. She was an adulterous. Yet, Jesus loved her. Jesus had compassion and grace for her. I could put myself in this woman's place. I don't deserve His grace. But He gives it anyway.
Now I'm not sure that made sense or if you even got much out of it. But it's the best I can do at this point. The more I learn of God's grace, the less I want people to see me. I pray my life is not remembered by what alesha nutter did. I pray my life is remembered only by what Jesus did, the grace He has poured out, and the love He has to offer everyone! I pray you are overwhelmed by His presence today and be encouraged God loves you more than you can ever imagine!
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