I will probably break these into 3 different blogs or else this could get pretty lengthy. I'll start off with Rafael as this story will help shape the rest. Everything happens in His perfect timing and it was important this story was first on my journey.
About halfway through our trip, we left Talsi and headed to an orphanage. If I am correct, it's called Kakishi. We arrived and the room they wanted our students to perform the drama is was no bigger than a rather large walk in closet. It would have been a tight fit for 17 of us, + 4 translators, and the people we were there to love on. We decided it was best to perform the drama outside even though rain clouds looked to threaten our performance. We were confident God was going to show up despite the rain. As the students started worshipping, the children started to come out of the building with what warm clothes they had, and some were still in shorts and short sleeves. From the first look into the eyes of one the children, my heart was broken. Would these kids ever know that they were loved?
We started the drama and I decided to go sit on the opposite side of the "stage" and reflect and thank God for the blessings He had given me in my life. I couldn't help but remember all the times as a kid I knew I had somewhere to run to feel loved. I knew I could feel the warm embrace from a loved ones hug, but would these kids ever get that? As I was praying for each of the faces I saw, this little boy came and crawled in my lap. He made himself at home. I could tell he was comfortable by the sigh when he laid his head on my chest. He pulled my hand so it was across his body resting in his lap. I tried my best to hold back the tears. For the rest of the drama we both sat there in complete peace. When I clapped, he clapped. When I cheered, he cheered. He was my mini me in that moment.
After the drama was over, we played for a little bit until he thought he would check out the rest of the students. But the odd thing was, he always returned to me for a moment of rest. He wanted to play this chasing game with me so we started to play around. Then one of the guys on our team ran up to him and picked him up and this scared the little boy. I would later find out his name is Rafael and Rafael came running to me to protect him. He went and played some more and then came back and sat on my lap. He kept repeating this same word to me and kissing me and hugging me. I couldn't take not knowing anymore so I walked him over to a translator and asked him to repeat what he was saying. She paused a moment before she repeated those precious words. She said, "He is calling you his momma. He said he's ready to go home now and he loves his momma." As you can imagine, I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I held him close and shed a few tears before I pulled it together again to play with him. We were probably there for about an hour just playing and loving on them. But when you experience love like that, no time seems long enough. (I imagine this is what parents feel like when their kids grow up, go off to school, get married etc. They wish time would slow down.) As it was time to say goodbye, Rafael looked at me and said, "Paldies Mamu. Es tevi milu." (Thank you Momma. I love you.) At this point, one of the leaders told me it was okay to go to the bus first because he knew saying goodbye would be hard. I sat on the bus looking out the window and watched as all the kids said goodbye to our students. I notice Rafael looking all around, I can only imagine he was looking for me. Once he spotted me in the window he waved, reached in his pocket and took out a picture of me, (he found one of my prayer cards in my backpack and kept it), kissed it and waved goodbye again as he gently placed the card back in his pocket.
Every student got on the bus a changed person. Every person was broken for those precious faces they had seen and kissed. Each student was filled with something that left them speechless. Our 45 minute bus ride was the quietest I had ever heard our team of 17 be the whole summer. As I sat and reflected in the quiet of the bus I heard God speak to me very clearly. He said, "Alesha, wasn't that so sweet how Rafael didn't even know you, he had never seen you before, yet he loved you? He climbed into your lap and felt at peace and felt safe in your presence and even called you Mom. He saw you as a safe place and as his protector. Alesha, you want to know the even better thing? Let me love you like that. I long for you to crawl into my lap. Even though you can't physically touch me or feel me, I love you. Let me be your safe place. Rest your head against my chest. Call out to me as your Daddy. Let me protect you for the storms and love you with an unconditional love. Believe that I love you Alesha. My precious daughter, you are my beloved, let me love you like Rafael let you love him." The next few moments were filled with many tears but I felt the presence of my Daddy wrap His arms around me and kiss me on the forehead. Through the simple love of a little boy, Rafael, I have a deeper understanding of how my Daddy longs for me to rest in His lap. I have a greater appreciation for the little things He has done in my life and will continue to do. My Daddy loves me, and He loves you too. I pray you know that! I pray you believe that!
Psalm 89:26 "He will call out to me, You are my Father, my God, the Rock my Savior!"
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